is wine microwaveable?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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