Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
