i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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