is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there is glitter all over my balls
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