drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
