Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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