Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize