we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
