Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
