i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
