i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
