Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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