This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
