The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
