My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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