I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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