Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
