can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
