I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
