How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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