Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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