he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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