Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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