I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
