So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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