After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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