Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
