I'm laying in your front yard are you home
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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