dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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