Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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