If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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