you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hippo gnu deer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
