so that wasnt chicken after all
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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