Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
