and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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