it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i will never coherently bang her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
