the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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