when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
