Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
