He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have aggressive nipples.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize