So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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