I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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