Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I smell like Dick and happiness
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
