and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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