Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
