dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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