Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
