I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
