I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
