By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
