Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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