We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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