I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
