two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize