hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
