I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
