I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
