I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
operation harelip BJ is a go
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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