Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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