omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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