dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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