I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize