I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
