hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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