So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
