she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
the raccoons are back...
Two words: nipple clamps
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