I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
