All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
