It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
