loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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