i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ttyl tear gas
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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