I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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