For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
